One more time.....***NEWSFLASH*** For those who don't know....I am weird. I have known this for quite some time but I figured I would warn you all before I write this post. Just do me one favour.....don't comment negatively on what I write here in this post.
These dreams are the ones that have truly gotten me through some tough patches. These are the dreams that make me wonder if they are in fact dreams. When I was 7 my Grampie passed away. He was the only grandparent I ever knew and I couldn't have asked for a better one (though I am convinced the Grandparents I never met were just as wonderful.....they would have to be for me to have the parents I do :)) Anyway....not long after he died I had a dream about him. It was a short dream...nothing extravagant. I was outside playing and sitting in a truck was Grampie. I noticed him just sitting there watching. I got up to go to him and he drove off. Odd I know...considering he didn't drive. That was the last dream I had about him until 4 years ago. I started dreaming of him again. Many of them the same as the one I had when I was 7/8. One particular dream stands out in my mind and I am convinced this wasn't really a dream. Call me weird...I can handle it. This one was about 3 years ago. This dream had EVERYONE in it. Mom, Dad, Jackie, Derek, Emma, Isaac, Me, mike, aunts, uncles, cousins......you name them...they were there. We were at a wedding reception. It was Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Jack's reception (I wasn't there so I don't know what their reception was like) Grampie was there. Sitting at a table, just watching everyone. He was in his work pants and plaid shirt. His legs were crossed. He was Grampie as I remember him. I went to him and sat down. We talked. Actually....I talked. I told him EVERYTHING that had happened since he died. I really don't think I left anything out. Even though this was Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Jack's wedding I even told him about my own wedding, Emma being born and Isaac being born. I even told him about all the ones that were expecting babies. The whole time I talked, he listened. Even though everyone else in the room could see him nobody interrupted. They would stop, look, smile and move on. This dream seemed to last forever. After I filled him in on all that had happened all he said was "I have to go now. I love you!" I guess it's what happened after this dream that has me believing it wasn't really "just a dream". After he said those words to me, I woke up and could smell him. I could smell the wood stove, his chewing tobacco and the way he smelled after coming out of the shed. This all happened at a time I needed some reassurance of sorts.
Last night I had another dream. It wasn't the same as they were before. Last nights dream seemed to be just that....a dream. I haven't had another like the one I described. There are days that I am feeling overwhelmed and just missing people and those are the days that I smell him. It's almost like he is reminding me that he is here. It reminds me that there are people that care. I hope that I can always "smell" him like I have been. It's comforting.So there you have it....Dreams Pt. 2. Probably wasn't what anyone was expecting but I will cherish those ones always.
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I find these dreams interesting because sometimes I think we have some of them for a reason and I think that they aren't actually all dreams. I guess that makes me weird too. I was worried about having Christmas without Mom that first year, after she passed away. Just before Christmas, I had a dream that we were all starting to eat dinner at the farm. I looked out the window and saw Mom coming. I told everyone there that she was going to be upset cuz they gave all her clothes away and I knew she would be back. She came in and had dinner with us and it seemed so real. The same as always. After dinner, she looked at me and said....I have to go back now and I asked her to please stay, she said she couldn't, she could only stay long enough for Christmas dinner. That dinner was so real to me and I felt so good after. Sad but good. Now...after Dad passed, I was standing in the kitchen in front of the wood stove...I looked in the living room and he was standing in the doorway. I started telling him how worried I was that he left and told him he wasn't supposed to go. He turned his head and Mom appeared at his side. There was a glow surrounding them. He took her hand and they both looked at me. He had that little smile on his face. He said....softly, I told you I had to go with your mother. It was at that moment that I realized how much he had missed her and I was glad they were together again. I wasn't really asleep when I had that one either. I honestly think they were telling me they are ok. This doesn't stop me from missing them though. Christmas is still one of the hardest days of the year for me. I love it but I think I miss them most at this time. Weird? Maybe.... Aunt Pam xoxo
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